RanaBeauty

Category: Personal Care

  • Self-Talk for Feeling Overwhelmed – Self-Love Rainbow

    Self-Talk for Feeling Overwhelmed – Self-Love Rainbow

    Hey there, wonderful human! I’ve often joked that I’m powered by anxiety. If I’m not managing my mental health, I get very overwhelmed very easily, and in my head, everything feels big and world-ending. Self-talk is so important when it comes to managing overwhelm and anxiety. Your mileage may vary because no overwhelm is created equally but for the smaller things. I find telling myself these things helps. When my brain feels like it’s against me, at least my voice is going to be kind, gentle, and loving.

    In this blog post, I want to share some self-talk phrases that will hopefully help you manage those feelings.

    Self-Talk for Feeling Overwhelmed

    1. It’s okay to take care of the small things first.

    This is my secret weapon. Things are so much better when you have crossed things off of your to-do list and all you have left is the big, important, thing. Instead of being unbearably overwhelmed through the big thing because everything is piling up, I get done with the little things first so then I’m just mildly overwhelmed through it. I’m kidding, but often it does help me lessen the stress!

    1. It is important to set boundaries and say no.

    Saying ‘no’ isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of self-care. Setting boundaries and protecting your time and energy is important. If you can – delegate. If you can – say “no” sometimes. And if you can – take as much time for yourself as you possibly can because you deserve to rest.

    1. Not everything is in my control.

    Repeat after me, “I can’t control everything.” It’s a simple but powerful reminder that it’s okay to let go of things beyond your control. Worrying about them won’t change a thing, but focusing on what you can do in this moment is what counts.

    1. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help.

    Reach out to your support system (if you can) when you feel overwhelmed. If you don’t have a support system then create one around yourself. They might not be able to help pick up the load but sometimes emotional support can really help get you through it.

    1. I have time to slow down and take a break.

    You’re not a machine. You can not maintain hyperspeed and not break down. My brain will tell myself that I can’t take a break but when I do – even if it’s for 15 minutes, I feel better and I’m more productive. So don’t forget to hit that pause button. It feels counter-productive but it will help!

    1. I don’t have to have all the answers right now.

    Feeling like you need to have all the answers can be incredibly overwhelming. But guess what? You don’t. Most things will wait until tomorrow. Or even the next day. You’ll figure it out as you go.

    1. I am doing the best I can.

    You are giving your best, even on your most overwhelming days. Be proud of the effort you put in. Your best might feel like it absolutely sucks some days but you’re trying – and that’s enough.

    1. I just need to focus on one step at a time.

    You’ll get where you need to go, one step at a time. Focus on what’s right in front of you. Break it into little steps. Keep moving in the right direction.

    So, there you go – a handful of self-talk phrases to help you navigate those overwhelming moments with a little more ease and grace. You’ve got this!

    While you’re here, don’t forget to check out my book!

  • Unconventional Goal Setting Advice For When You Struggle To Hit Your Goals

    Unconventional Goal Setting Advice For When You Struggle To Hit Your Goals

    Do you feel like you’re an ambitious high achiever who struggles to hit goals? It can be jarring to your identity. It’s easy to feel like there’s something wrong with you or that you’re incapable of following your dreams – talk about feeling defeated! The good news is that’s not the case.

    The problem is that you are using goal-setting techniques that aren’t effective for you and then blame yourself when they fail.

    It’s like trying to cut wood with a rusty, dull axe and then blaming your skills when it doesn’t work. In this blog post, I will teach you why your metaphorical goal-setting axe isn’t working, and I’ll share my all-time favorite (albeit a little unconventional) goal-setting technique!

    Here are the reasons what you’re doing is missing the mark:

    Reason #1: Arbitrary timelines

    People often unconsciously use goals as a means to control and predict outcomes. Translation: you’re using goals as a way to cope with the uncertainty of life and to pressure certain things to happen within arbitrary timelines.

    If you’re striving to lose 20 pounds in six months, does it really matter if it takes eight? Or 12? Or is the timeline a way to manage feeling uncomfortable when you look in the mirror?

    Do you really need to be a millionaire by thirty-five, or is it a way for you to feel safe with money because you don’t right now? 

    When goals are set this way, they become more of an escape plan than a helpful guidepost.

    What would it look like if you completely let go of a timeline? I know, goals without timelines might seem taboo.

    Traditional goal-setting advice recommends using SMART goals, which are specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, and time-bound. There’s nothing wrong with that approach and some people love them, but if you’re reading this article, I’m guessing that method hasn’t worked for you.

    Getting too specific, too measurable, and too time-oriented can create rigidity. This causes you to feel suffocated by your goal instead of inspired by it, leading to disappointment if you don’t meet it perfectly.

    Reason #2: Types of goals you’re setting

    You can set two types of goals: process goals and outcome goals. A process goal is deciding to go to the gym three days per week. An outcome goal is setting a specific number of pounds you want to lose or an amount of weight you want to squat.

    A money-related process goal is to put money in your savings account every time you get paid. An outcome goal would be to have an extra $5,000 in your bank account by the end of the year.

    Theoretically, if you hit your process goal, you will likely achieve your outcome goal. So if you focus on outcome goals but neglect process goals, you fixate on what you want rather than what it takes to get there.

    Reason #3: Assuming what is necessary

    Let’s say you want to quit your job and go full-time in your online business. You might have a list of things or actions you need to take to make that dream a reality. Let’s say you need to create a website, post regularly on social media, advertise, get more clients, save a certain amount of money, etc.

    How many things on that list will move the needle forward? What is genuinely necessary vs. what you think is necessary based on your perceptions or what others tell you?

    If you enjoy the process, you are 83.6% more likely to reach your goals if you enjoy what you’re doing (yes, I made that statistic up). But think about it – do you want to hit a goal by muscling through things you wish you didn’t have to do or by doing what you enjoy? What do you think is going to be easier to stick with and will be more likely to produce the results you want? 

    If you brain dump a list of what you think is necessary to achieve your goals, look down, and think, “YEAH, NO, I don’t feel like doing that,” get creative! What else could you do to achieve your goal that doesn’t include those things? Ask yourself what would be FUN!

    There’s more than one way to get to 9. You can add 8+1, subtract 11-2, and multiply 3*3; few of many options. Where are you telling yourself the only way to get to 9 is 6+3? Find your flavor of how you want to get there.

    Note: If no ideas you come up with sound fun, re-assess the goal. For example, if you want to run a marathon but every physical conditioning exercise you think of sounds awful, running a marathon might not be the best goal for you. If you are going to hate every moment of the process for a few brief moments of accomplishment, what’s the point?

    My favorite (unconventional) goal-setting technique

    As someone who often set goals I didn’t achieve, I knew I had to devise a better way. This approach releases timelines, creates opportunities for fun and flexibility, and focuses on outcomes through processes.

    Step 1. Decide what area(s) of your life you want to set goals in.

    Many of my clients’ goals boil down to improving relationships, finances, health, careers, or overall happiness. If you struggle with consistency and maintaining your habits, I’d recommend starting with just one goal and then working from there.

    What area of your life would you most like to improve? What feels the most important to address first?

    Step 2. Choose your goal

    This approach differs from SMART goals because your goal can be vague. In fact, it should be! Let’s take health, for example. Your goal could be “improve health.” It could be “improve body image,” or “get stronger,” or “clear up my skin.” Whatever feels good for you!

    Step 3. Formulate your goals into a question

    Whatever you have identified in step 2, plug it into the question, “what’s something fun I could do today to support _________?”

    • What’s something fun I could do today to support my health?
    • What’s something fun I could do today to support my body image?
    • What’s something fun I could do today to support my strength?
    • What’s something fun I could do today to support my skin?

    Whatever your question is, answer it! Brain dump everything you could do that would feel fun and would support your goal. If it feels fun but doesn’t support the goal, it’s out. If it supports the goal but doesn’t feel fun, it’s definitely out. Now, you have a list to work from.

    Ask yourself this question daily, choose something off your list, and do it. It could be fun to do the same thing every day (or if you’re like me) you might get bored quickly and switch it up often. It doesn’t matter! As long as you’re supporting your goal and having fun.

    That’s it 🙂 Rinse and repeat!

    Another option: ditch goals altogether

    If this method doesn’t pique your interest or the information in this post didn’t spur any new ideas, consider taking a break from setting goals, period. *Gasp.* While goals help guide you in your pursuits, they are not the only way to be successful.

    When we think of someone who doesn’t have goals, it’s usually with a negative connotation – *cue the image of someone unemployed, ripping bongs, and eating Oreos on the couch all day.* But the belief that you need goals to be successful is just that – a belief. Which means you can choose a new belief. Goal setting is a tool that should be used to help you, but it’s not a code of conduct to live by. If it doesn’t feel helpful for you in this season, drop it all together (without guilt!).

    Instead, focus on living. Breathing. Being. Spend time on things that you enjoy and make you happy. When you follow that energy, achieving your goals becomes a natural byproduct instead of something you are pushing and forcing.

    –

    Happy goal setting!

  • 127 Birthday Wishes for Your Wife

    127 Birthday Wishes for Your Wife

    Finding the perfect birthday wish for your beloved wife isn’t always easy. 

    With so many generic and impersonal options out there, you want one that truly expresses how special she is to you. 

    That’s why we’ve put together this ultimate list of 127 birthday messages guaranteed to make your wife feel cherished. 

    Thoughtful, funny, sentimental – there’s something here for every wife and relationship. 

    Read on for inspiration and witty ways to celebrate her special day that are as unique as she is. 

    Whether you pick one or combine a few, these birthday wishes will wow your wife and show how much she means to you.

    What Should I Say on My Wife’s Birthday?

    Finding the perfect words to wish your wife a happy birthday can seem daunting.

    You want to express just how much she means to you while still keeping it meaningful and heartfelt.

    man sitting down to write a card birthday wishes for wife

    The good news is there are so many thoughtful ways to get your message across.

    When deciding what to write, consider what would truly make your wife feel special on her big day. Here are some things to keep in mind:

    • Reflect on your relationship and highlight your favorite qualities about her – is she an amazing mom, so caring, or your biggest cheerleader?
    • Share a special memory or inside joke that will make her smile. Nostalgia is always a good route.
    • Express your love and admiration for the person she is. Communicate what you cherish most about your marriage.
    • Keep it personal and customize your message based on your relationship style – romantic, sweet, and simple, or lighthearted and fun.
    • Reminisce over the years you’ve spent together and your hopes for creating new memories in the ones ahead.

    Most importantly, speak from the heart. Your genuine emotions and sentiments will mean more to her than any over-the-top gestures.

    With so many ways to get your sentiments across, you can craft a birthday wish that perfectly captures what your wife means to you.

    127 Birthday Wishes for Your Wife

    As your wife celebrates another trip around the sun, let these 127 birthday wishes help you articulate just how much she means to you. Thoughtful, funny, or romantic – these messages have got you covered.

     Happy Birthday Wishes for Wife

    1. I hope your birthday is as sweet and delightful as you are, my darling. You make my world brighter just by being in it.

    2. Wishing you the happiest of birthdays, my love! You deserve all the cakes, gifts, and celebrations today for being the wonderful wife you are.  

    3. Happy birthday to my gorgeous wife! I’m so lucky to be sharing life’s adventures with you. I hope you take some time to relax and treat yourself on your special day. You certainly deserve it after everything you do for our family. Let’s celebrate your special day by doing all your favorite things.

    4. To the woman who makes my heart skip a beat – happy birthday! I love you more with each passing year. Let’s make this next trip around the sun the best one yet.

    5. Birthday wish to my forever love – I hope you feel as appreciated on your special day as you make me feel every single day. You light up my life with your smile and fill my days with joy. Cheers to you and to many more birthdays spent by your side!

    6. My darling wife, I hope all your birthday wishes come true. You deserve nothing but happiness today and every day. I feel so grateful and lucky to have you in my life.

    7. Wishing you endless smiles and laughter on your birthday, my sweetheart! Enjoy celebrating in style.

    8. Happy birthday to the world’s most wonderful wife! I’ll love you forever and always. 

    9. To my loving partner on her birthday – you make my world a brighter place. Your kindness and compassion inspire me to be better every day. I cherish and adore you with all my heart! 

    10. Birthday greetings to my soulmate! You look as gorgeous today as you did the day we met. 

    11. Sweetheart, I hope your birthday is as special as you are. I admire everything about you – your strength, your grace, and your huge heart. I’ll do anything I can to make sure your day is magical!

    picture of birthday card birthday wishes for wife

    12. Darling wife, we’ve shared so many wonderful memories over the years. Here’s to making more on your special day!

     13. Wishing you a spectacular birthday filled with all your favorite people and things! Enjoy, my darling.

    14. Happy birthday to my loving, caring, and patient wife! You make every day wonderful.

    15. My dearest wife, you deserve the best birthday this year and all the years to come. I hope all your dreams come true today and life brings you joy, adventure, and so much love. You are my everything. 

    16. Birthday girl, today is all about you! I’ll be pampering you with breakfast in bed, taking you shopping for that handbag you’ve had your eye on, and doing everything I can to make you feel special. You make my world brighter every single day. I love you! 

    17. Darling, I hope your birthday is simply fabulous from start to finish. No one deserves an amazing day more than you do! 

    18. Sweetheart, here’s wishing that your birthday and the coming year bring you lasting joy. May all your hopes continue turning into reality one by one. You’ve made my life infinitely better by being my wife – I’m so excited to celebrate you today and always!

    19. Wishing my beautiful wife a stupendous birthday! Let’s make today all about you.

    20. Happy birthday to the woman of my dreams! I love you with all my heart.

    21. Darling, on your birthday, I want to celebrate the caring, nurturing, and selfless person that you are. You give so much of yourself to others, and now it’s your turn to relax and be pampered! I’ll be treating you like a queen today and always. Enjoy your special day, my love!

    22. Sweetheart, you make every single one of my days happier and more meaningful. Happy birthday – you deserve the world!

    Romantic Birthday Wishes for Wife

    23. My darling, words cannot express how much you mean to me. Having you as my wife is the greatest gift in my life. I love you with all of my heart! Happy birthday to my soulmate, my partner, and my best friend!

    24. I fall deeper in love with you every single day. Happy birthday to my gorgeous wife!

    25. Your love gives me wings, sweetheart! I can’t wait to make all your birthday wishes come true. 

    26. My love, you deserve all the happiness in the world on your special day and always. I am so thankful and feel so blessed to have you as my wife. I promise to always cherish, support, and stand by you. Happy birthday to the woman who makes my life complete! 

    27. Sweetheart, we have built a life together that I cherish more than anything. On your birthday, know that I will always be here to love, care for, and celebrate you. You are my world. Happy birthday, my darling!

    28. To the woman who has my whole heart – happy birthday, my love! Each year we spend together, I fall even more in love with you. I can’t wait to make this an unforgettable celebration for the most amazing wife!

    29. You are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. Happy birthday to my gorgeous wife!

    30. Loving you is the best thing that ever happened to me. Happy birthday, darling!

    31. I’ll love you until the last rose dies, sweetheart. Happy birthday! 

    32. Wishing my lovely wife a magical birthday filled with surprises and special moments we’ll treasure forever.

    33. My darling, so many of my favorite memories involve you. I can’t believe how blessed I am to call you my wife and best friend. You make every year better than the last and every day an adventure. Happy birthday to the love of my life!

    34. To my forever Valentine – happy birthday, gorgeous! Our love story is still being written.

    35. Thank you for filling my days with so much purpose, meaning, and joy. Happy birthday to my soulmate!

    36. I’ll be celebrating you not just today but every single day, my love. Happy birthday!

    37. Sweetheart, we’ve built a life together I wouldn’t trade for anything. Having you by my side through it all is a dream come true. I can’t wait to shower you with love and make this the most special birthday yet! I’m the luckiest husband in the world.  

    38. Birthday wishes to the woman who has my whole heart! You complete me in every way.

    39. I fall deeper in love with you every year. Happy birthday, my darling!

    40. My love, life is so much richer with you by my side as my best friend and wife. Thank you for the laughter, joy, and meaning you bring me. Happy birthday to my soulmate – let’s make this your best one yet, beautiful!

    41. I loved you yesterday, and I love you still. Always have, always will. Happy birthday, gorgeous!

    42. Here’s to many more years of love, joy, and adventures with my darling wife. Happy birthday!

    43. Thank you for sharing your life with me, sweetheart. Happy birthday to my loving wife! 

    44. I’ll keep loving you as long as the sun continues to shine. Happy birthday to the light of my life!

    Heart Touching Birthday Wishes for Wife

    45. My precious wife, you are the most caring, supportive, and loving person I know. Having you by my side makes me the luckiest man alive. I hope you have the happiest of birthdays and this next year brings you everything your heart desires. I love you!

    46. You’re my anchor in every storm, darling. Wishing you smooth sailing on your special day!

    47. Thank you for being my rock every day. Happy birthday to my phenomenal wife!

    48. My world lights up whenever you smile. Hope you have lots of reasons to smile on your birthday, sweetheart!

    49. To the woman who understands me like no one else can – you are my person and my everything. Happy birthday to my beautiful wife. Every moment we share together is precious to me.

    50. I love that I get to do life with you – the good, bad, and silly! Wishing you the happiest birthday, gorgeous. You make every year better.

    51. Sweetheart, having you as my co-pilot on this journey called life is the best gift of all. Thanks for always being there. Happy birthday to my soulmate! You deserve the stars.

    52. Our home overflows with love and laughter because of you. Happy birthday to the world’s best wife!

    53. Every day spent with you is the new best day of my life! Happy birthday, my love.

    54. I love that you know me better than anyone else. Happy birthday to my sweet wife! 

    55. Thanks for all the joy you bring me, darling! Have a wonderful birthday.

    56. My partner, my friend, the love of my life – happy birthday to my exceptional wife! I admire you more each day for your grace, wisdom, and gentleness. You make me want to be the best version of myself. I love you forever!

    57. Sweetheart, we’ve been through so much together. You’ve always been understanding, patient, and caring. I’m so grateful to have your unwavering love and support. Wishing you all the happiness in the world on your birthday, my darling! 

    58. I fall in love with you over and over again every single day. Happy birthday, gorgeous!

    59. My love, life would have far less meaning without you to share all of its ups and downs with. You lift me higher in good times and comfort me when I struggle. Thank you for being my partner in everything. Happy birthday to the most wonderful wife! I adore you.

    60. I love that I get to grow older with my best friend. Happy birthday wishes, sweetheart!

    61. Thank you for filling our home with so much love. Happy birthday to my fabulous wife!

    62. I love being lost in conversation with you for hours. Hope we get to talk the day away on your birthday! 

    63. Gorgeous, your inner and outer beauty takes my breath away daily. You deserve to be celebrated not just today but every single day for being the compassionate, fun, phenomenal woman you are. Happy birthday to my soulmate and the love of my life! 

    64. My biggest blessing is our marriage and life together. Happy birthday, darling!

    65. Sweetheart, I feel so incredibly lucky to call you my wife and best friend. Having you by my side makes me a better man. Thank you for choosing me to spend your life with – here’s to celebrating the amazing woman you are on your birthday and always! I love you!

    66. You showed me what true love really feels like. Happy birthday, my treasure!

    67. Spending my days with you fills my heart with so much joy. Happy birthday wishes to my fabulous wife!

    68. To the woman who gave color and meaning to my world – happy birthday, my darling! My days are brighter because of your smile. My years are happier because you’re by my side. My life is better because you’re in it. I’m forever grateful to call you mine. I love you with all my heart!

    Funny Birthday Wishes for Wife

    69. Wishing a stupendously awesome birthday to the world’s best wife! Get ready to celebrate in style, gorgeous! 

    70. Today is all about spoiling my fabulous wife rotten. No one deserves it more!

    71. Sweetheart, you still give me butterflies after all these years. Thanks for keeping our love and laughter alive. I don’t know how you put up with my bad jokes, but I’m so happy you do! Wishing you the carefree, fun birthday you deserve!

    72. To the world’s most wonderful wife – thanks for laughing at my jokes even when they’re not funny! Happy birthday, sweetheart!

    73. I must have done something really awesome in my past life to deserve you. Happy birthday to my spectacular wife!

    74. You’re aging like fine wine, darling! Only getting more stunning. Cheers to you on your birthday! 

    75. They broke the mold when they made you. Happy birthday to my unique and awesome wife!

    76. Sweetie pie, life with you just keeps getting sweeter. Having you as my wife makes me feel like the luckiest guy alive. I hope you get showered with hugs, kisses, and everything nice on your special day!

    77. Thanks for keeping things saucy after all these years! Happy birthday to my foxy wife.

    78. To the world’s best wife and my partner in crime – happy birthday to my ride-or-die! You make my days brighter and years happier. Love you!

    79. Gorgeous, so very grateful for our journey together as wife and husband! Thanks for the endless laughter, joy, and love you bring me. May your birthday be as special as you are, beautiful! Can’t wait to celebrate my best friend today!

    80. You still give me butterflies. Happy birthday, darling!

    81. Age is just a number when you’re as fabulous as my wife! Happy birthday, superstar!

    82. Thanks for walking beside me through life’s adventures. Happy birthday to my amazing wife!

    83. Sweetheart, life with you just keeps getting better, and your birthday is the perfect excuse to celebrate that! Can’t believe how lucky I am to call you mine. Here’s to making more funny memories together! I adore you. Happy birthday!

    84. My darling wife, my partner in laughter and love – wishing you the carefree, playful birthday you deserve! Thanks for filling our days together with so much joy and endless giggles. You have the best smile, and I can’t imagine life without it! I love you! 

    85. To many more action-packed years with my courageous, beautiful wife. Happy birthday, darling!

    86. You’re aging like fine wine, babe! Happy birthday to my hot wife.

    87. Happy birthday to the queen of my heart! I’ll be your loyal servant today. 

    88. Gorgeous wife, I feel so blessed to have your loving arms around me. I promise, silly jokes and all, you’ll always be my queen, and I’ll always treat you like royalty. Can’t wait to celebrate your special day! I love you, honey bunny!

    89. Sweet cheeks, I hope your birthday is as awesome as you are. Thanks for being my partner in adventure and crime! 

    90. Happy birthday to my sparkling diamond! I struck gold when I married you.

    91. My dearest wife, my midnight laughter partner, and my best friend in the whole wide world – wishing you a playful, adventure-filled birthday and year ahead! Life is so much brighter with your smile in it. Thank you for filling my days with joy, even when I drive you nuts! I’m yours ‘til the ends of the earth!

    Love Birthday Wishes for Wife

    92. My darling wife, you have my whole heart. Happy birthday to the love of my life!

    93. Sweetheart, you still give me butterflies. Loving you comes easily. Happy birthday!

    94. My love, having you as my wife is nothing short of a dream come true. Every new day together deepens my love and appreciation for the caring, kind-hearted person that you are. Wishing you all the birthday magic in the world – you deserve it!

    95. Darling, thank you for being my safe place to call home. Happy birthday! 

    96. To the woman who has my whole heart – happy birthday, gorgeous! I’ll keep loving you to infinity and beyond.

    97. Sweetheart, we’ve walked hand in hand through so many of life’s twists and turns, always finding reasons to smile even when the road got bumpy. Having you as my wife is life’s greatest gift. Happy birthday to my soulmate and very best friend!

    98. My heart beats only for you. Happy birthday to my phenomenal wife!

    99. Growing old with you has been bliss. Happy birthday, my love! 

    100. Gorgeous wife, my days are filled with so much laughter and love because of you. Thank you for making our house a home and filling it with joy. Wishing you the very best birthday – you deserve the world and so much more! I love you to the moon and back!

    101. Loving you comes easily, darling! Happy birthday.

    102. To many more silly memories and new adventures with the love of my life. Happy birthday!

    103. You still give me butterflies after all this time. Happy birthday, sweet thing!

    104. Sweetheart, every new day together deepens my appreciation and love for the caring, kind woman you are. You lift me higher and make me want to be better. Happy birthday to my phenomenal wife! You have my whole heart. 

    105. Can’t imagine this life without you as my co-pilot! Happy birthday to my soulmate.

    106. My wish for you is a lifetime of happiness. I love you with all my heart! Happy birthday, my treasure.

    107. My partner in life and love – wishing you endless smiles and joyful moments on your special day and always. You deserve nothing less, sweetheart! Every day together is such a gift. I love you!

    108. Growing old beside you is life’s greatest gift. Happy birthday to my best friend and beautiful wife!

    109. I’ll celebrate you today and all year through! Happy birthday to my precious wife.

    110. Thank you for being my safe place to call home. I love you fully and forever! Happy birthday, my darling.

    111. Gorgeous wife, thank you for walking this journey called life hand in hand with me – through all its messy beauty. Having your loyal love and unwavering support means everything. I’ll always be your biggest fan, rooting for your wildest dreams to come true! Happy birthday to the most exceptional woman and partner. My heart is yours, always.

    Sweet and Simple Birthday Wishes for Wife

    112. Wishing you a birthday as wonderful as you are, sweetheart!

    113. I love you fully and unconditionally. Happy birthday, my darling! 

    114. You have my whole heart today and always! Happy birthday, my sweet wife.

    115. Happy birthday to the love of my life and my best friend!

    116. To my precious wife – may all your birthday wishes come true! 

    117. Sweetheart, I hope you feel special and celebrated on your birthday – you deserve nothing less!

    118. Darling, I’ll keep choosing you and this life we’ve built together every single day. Happy birthday! 

    119. My wish for you is a magical birthday from start to finish. I adore you!

    120. To my phenomenal wife – wishing you a special day from morning to night!

    121. Gorgeous, thankful doesn’t even begin to express how I feel to have you as my wife. Happy birthday!

    122. My sweet darling, life is so much brighter with you in it! Happy birthday!

    123. Wishing my beautiful wife the happiest of birthdays! I admire you more each day. 

    124. You have my whole heart, gorgeous! Wishing you a special birthday. 

    125. Loving wife, may all your birthday wishes come true. You deserve it!

    126. Happy birthday to the most wonderful woman in my world!

    127. Sweetheart, let’s make this next trip around the sun your best one yet! I’m by your side all the way.

    How to Use These Happy Birthday to Wife Messages

    Finding the perfect birthday message for your beloved wife can feel overwhelming with so many generic options out there. That’s where these 127 birthday wishes come in handy! 

    Craft a Custom Message

    Skim through the varied messages and pick out meaningful phrases, romantic lines, or inside jokes that feel authentic to you as a couple. Combine them into a personalized, loving message she’ll cherish.

    Incorporate Themes 

    Focus on specific categories based on your relationship style and what would touch her heart the most – funny, sentimental, romantic, or spiritual. Choose several from a section and weave them together into one intimate, thoughtful birthday wish.

    Spread Out the Love  

    Consider writing cute messages on multiple cards, a letter, or several thoughtful texts spread out during her special day. No need to cram it all into just one greeting. Give her birthday extra attention by sharing the love in creative ways. 

    Make it Yours

    While these birthday wishes help spark inspiration, remember to speak from your heart above all else. Your genuine words and emotions will mean more to her than any over-the-top gesture. 

    No matter how you choose to share your message, focus on celebrating the unique, wonderful person she is. With so many options, you’re sure to find the perfect loving sentiments to make her birthday special.

  • Mind, Body and Bubbles – My Self-Love Supply

    Mind, Body and Bubbles – My Self-Love Supply

     

    Life is full of ups and downs, for young people as well as adults. Their ups and downs may seem insignificant to us as adults, but they are there, and our acknowledgement, acceptance and understanding of their feelings and experiences will have a profound impact on their interpretation of relationships, emotions, love, respect and most importantly, it will shape the way they view themselves and their mental wellbeing – now, and in the future. 

    Here are a few ideas for using the power of self-care to help children and young people become more introspective and aware of their physical and emotional needs and to promote wellness of the body and mind.  

    The Wellbeing Spectrum

    Creating a wellbeing spectrum to explore mental wellbeing with children and young people can help them to see their emotions as a sliding scale. This simple visual tool can be used to view wellbeing as a spectrum between, feeling stable and well in body and mind, to the opposite feeling of unbalanced, anxious, or unhappy – along with the understanding that we all sit somewhere on this spectrum. Moving within this spectrum of mental wellbeing can happen at varying time intervals, but with greater recognition of our own emotions and wellness, these transitions can be a smooth glide, rather than a thundering swoop along the spectrum. This technique is one of the ways young people can learn to understand how they feel. 

    Emotional Awareness and Mental Wellbeing 

    It is well-accepted that when young people know how they learn most effectively, they can become better learners. More commonly now, we need to apply the principle of this theory to emotional awareness and wellbeing – when young people know how they feel, they can become better at practicing self-care and self-love to maintain better levels of mental wellbeing. Also, when young people can acknowledge how they feel, they can identify when they are slipping towards the “darker side” of the spectrum and ask for help. 

    One way we can help preventatively is to build a self-care “toolkit” with children and young people, which is filled with activities or strategies that they can try to improve their wellbeing in that moment. This is an important life skill that all young people should know so they are equipped at handling any future stressors. 

    The Self-Care Toolkit for Young People

    The great thing about any “toolkit” is that things can be added or removed according to the requirements, and they can be completely unique to the owner! And our metaphorical Self-Care Toolkit is no different and it can evolve with the individual. Sometimes, a young person might need something to lift their mood, while at other times, they may need something to release some anxious feelings, or energise themselves. As they learn to monitor their body and feelings, they will become more confident in what tools they need and when to use them. 

    When building this toolkit with your young person, it is important that they decide what goes in so that activities or techniques have a positive impact on them. This is not to say that they wouldn’t benefit from some gentle guidance or suggestions, and very importantly, a role model to learn from watching. 

    Here are some suggestions of activities that can be trialled to discover what fits their needs and interests best. 

    Fresh Air and Bubbles 

    The benefits of the outdoors on both physical and mental health are fantastic – so much so, some doctors are now dosing patients with “Nature Prescriptions.” By actively exploring and engaging with nature, young people can develop a sense of curiosity and appreciation for their wellbeing and the natural world, while moving their bodies. Spotting wildlife is a calming, quiet activity, or alternatively, chasing bubbles in the park is a fun activity to release some built-up tension – and in our experience, it’s applicable for people of all ages!

    Energising and/or Calming Boxes 

    The great thing about an empty box is that they are so versatile. Creating a calming box is an excellent technique to add to the kit, to help young people balance their mood if they are having a sensory overload or feeling particularly overwhelmed. Depending on the age of the young person, this box could include: a soft or weight blanket, some gentle fragrances and music, a much-loved story or poem, photographs or pictures or a special mug. Sometimes, a calming box isn’t the tool for the job, so an energising, sensory box may be more effective to lift their mood. This could include similar things to the calming box, but adapted to awaken the senses, for example, stronger or different smells and a variety of music.

    Get Creative 

    Creativity is not limited by arts and crafts and that is the joy of it… It is not limited by anything! Creative activities can provide an outlet for a young person to release or explore their emotions. Drawing, painting, and modelling are more obvious examples of how to use creativity to relax, but other activities such as cooking, creating music, planning a trip, writing a poem or story, or problem-solving activities such as puzzles or lego, also involve creative thinking while providing a chance for personal expression and the development of new skills – crucial for feelings of self-worth.   

    Spaces, Faces and Places

    Asking a young person to be reflective about the spaces, faces and places which make them feel at their best – or close to – is important as when they don’t feel 100%, they can either recreate that space, meet that “face”, or visit that place (if of course it is feasible!). Some environments and places are more draining than others, and factors such as mess, lighting, noise can have a negative impact on a young person’s wellness, and these are things that they could learn to develop an awareness around. And in the same token as environments, some people are better to be around when you don’t feel well, and being conscious about this, can allow young people the freedom to have boundaries around their friendships. 

    Yoga and Mindful Breathing

    Questioning your ability to breathe, ironically, can make you feel a little better about yourself – and yoga does just that! There are so many brilliant resources out there (Yoga Pretzels yoga cards and Cosmic Yoga, an online video resources, are personal favourites!) which help young people to become more in-tune with their minds and bodies and focus all their attention on creating shapes with their bodies, and the oh-so tricky breathing.   

    A Notebook 

    Carrying around all these thoughts, feelings, opinions, and stuff is really tiring work. A simple notebook is helpful to have handy for young people to unload. Lists of things they need or want to do, reminiscing about a special time, acknowledging a challenging time, jotting down how they feel or drawings or doodles, are all ways that a young person could use a notebook in their toolkit. 

     

     

    Instagram: Knowing Young Minds

    Lucy is a trained Primary Teacher, now specialising in working with children and young people with additional educational, social, or emotional needs. She has experienced working in Scotland, Sweden and has also volunteered in schools in Kenya and Romania. All have helped cultivate a passion in infant, child, and youth mental wellbeing and a drive to learn more about interventions, preventions, and principles to tackle the growing youth mental health crisis. The birth of her son in 2018, and the return of her anxiety during pregnancy, was a personal catalyst for deciding to study a Master of Science in Psychology and creating the Instagram account, @KnowingYoungMinds, along with her sister, Kate. 

    Kate completed an honours degree in Social Science, before starting a career in Recruitment. She is interested in learning about how people work together effectively and to grow personally as well professionally. As part of her role, she helps to facilitate the Developing Young Workforce initiative which promotes teaching young people skills for the world of work and preparing them for life beyond school.  Inclusive practices underpin her work ethos, and she is concerned with promoting wellbeing at work. Since studying psychology as part of her University course, she has always had an interested in how the mind works, particularly when her son was born in 2020 and she found the world of developmental psychology. She spent a lot of time learning about child development but found the wealth of conflicting information overwhelming at times. This is what has led her to developing @KnowingYoungMinds so she can share the realistic and research-supported information that she has found to be useful and interesting.

  • A Guide to Reparenting Yourself During the Holidays

    A Guide to Reparenting Yourself During the Holidays

    The holiday season can suck. It has sucked for me many times. A huge part of that was working in retail and the other part was loneliness. When I got married to my amazing husband it improved a bit (mainly because I realized the best holiday traditions for us are just lounging around the house watching Netflix in our pajama onesies). One thing that was hard for us to navigate in the beginning was the immense amount of stress he felt regarding family obligations. I thought it sucked feeling like I had nothing to do for the holidays but it also sucks being on the other side with a huge family, conflicts and personality clashes, multiple holiday events and travel, and trying to juggle all of those things while keeping healthy boundaries intact. It’s so easy to get caught up in tradition that we forget to focus on what we need. So let’s talk about reparenting during the holidays.

    Understanding Reparenting:

    Reparenting means that you are taking action to make sure that your inner child (and your current self) feels loved, heard, seen, and safe. You’re making better choices for mini-you (and current-you) than the choices that were made for you as a child.
    I wanted to explore reparenting in the context of the holidays and how you can take care of your inner child by exploring what was missing in your childhood during the holiday season and then giving it to yourself now.

    If the holidays are rough for you, then this is for you.

    Reflect on what child-you needed.

    What did you need as a child that you didn’t get? I’m not talking about toys, but the emotional stuff. Did you feel safe and wanted? Did you feel like you were paid attention to? Were the holidays full of things you actually wanted to do? Now is the perfect time to dive deep into those memories and see what was missing and how you can extend those things to yourself now.

    And if you want to, get yourself that toy you always wanted.

    Create holiday traditions that nourish you.

    The holidays are allowed to be fun.(I’m giving you that permission just in case you need it)
    It’s about choosing peace and happiness over perfection and tradition and creating routines that nourish who you are and who you want to be. It’s like rewriting the script, replacing old narratives with ones that resonate with the person you are now. And you know what? It’s never too late to start.

    Practice self-compassion for past-you and current-you.

    Be gentle with yourself. Be especially gentle with past-you and all the things that you’ve gone through to get to where you are. Acknowledge the progress you’ve made on your journey and celebrate the victories, no matter how small. If things get tough, remind yourself that healing is a process, not a destination. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s more than enough.

    Set boundaries with love.

    Boundaries during the holidays can be super hard to navigate. Consider setting boundaries that prioritize your mental health. Politely decline invitations or leave early if things start to feel overwhelming. It’s okay to choose yourself and protect your peace even if you let other people down in the process.

    Connect with your support system.

    One of my favorite memes is that your family is just your pre-generated party members. And I like thinking of it like that. It’s not to say that family is easily replaceable but that way of thinking encourages you to adventure with the people that make the adventure fun. So find your people. It doesn’t matter if they’re on the internet or on the other side of the world – there are so many people in the world who will think you’re amazing.

    Reparenting yourself is like giving your own heart a big, warm hug. It is time to make the holiday season about whatever is most meaningful to you. Rest, play, joy, religion, family – choose your theme.

    What does reparenting during the holidays look like to you?

    If you’d like to explore this topic more deeply, check out my worksheet packet on Reparenting Yourself During the Holidays. It tackles emotional triggers, boundaries, and creating new traditions!

  • How I Stay In A Flow State Of Productivity While Running An Online Business

    How I Stay In A Flow State Of Productivity While Running An Online Business

    Hey there! I’m Brooke Scott, COO, Integrator & Online Business Owner.

    I serve women entrepreneurs, coaches, course creators, consultants, and women-owned agencies across various industries in the online space by creating the swoon-worthy, efficient business systems and processes of their dreams.

    Long story short, with the help of my internal team and their team of contractors and employees, I manage their internal and external operations so that they can get back to doing what they love in their zone of genius.

    I absolutely live my best life when I’m working behind the scenes in my clients’ business operations, systems, and funnels.

    My mission is to help my clients optimize and restore their business operations foundation without wasting time and money.

    My approach to completing projects is centered around lean fundamentals and the overall goal to keep things streamlined from A to Z while cutting out wasted steps so that everything that is happening, is adding value to the process.

    My clients typically come to me looking for help streamlining their business operations or to help clean up, fix, audit, and automate the processes that once served them but now after they have scaled their business, no longer serve them.

    In this period of time, they have rapidly grown their business and their team and aren’t in the position to pause what they have going on now to troubleshoot and repair what is happening behind the scenes. The cost of halting their operations to fix it is much greater and that’s where I step in.

    I got started in the online space in September of 2020 and began my entrepreneurial journey as a virtual assistant.

    Over the course of the last near 3 years, I’ve expanded my business and transitioned into and out of various roles: from a virtual assistant to an online business manager, a launch manager, a funnel specialist, an operations manager, and now a COO and integrator (or an operations and integration specialist).

    While it may seem like hopping around from one role to the next, it was actually a quick but smooth period of growth from mastering one focus to wanting to learn and develop skills in other areas that complimented each other.

    From my first day until now, I’ve truly leaned into allowing the flow guide me in finding where I’m truly aligned, and I’m happy to say that I feel more aligned in what I do each day. 

    After finishing college with a bachelor’s degree in finance and a master’s degree in business administration in 2019, the moment I found this world and the possibilities that came with it, I knew that I was in the right place.

    Now, 4 years later I’ve grown from being a solo part-time entrepreneur (while still full-time in the corporate world) to running a business full-time at home, bringing my husband on the team full-time, and recently hiring our first contractor to start expanding the business in more ways. It’s been a rollercoaster of success and failures but the most rewarding journey.

    The beauty of the entrepreneurial world is that you’re allowed to make those shifts, operate a life-first business, and redefine success for yourself. The moment I let go of the corporate world and the stress that came with it was the first time I felt space and ease and found it possible to actually enjoy what I do for a living. We only live once, so why not do it while chasing what you love in a way that feels good to you? 

    My days look completely different every single day, week, month and so on, but I try to follow the same approach to prepare myself for what can happen so that I can keep myself in a flow state in order to resolve issues and provide the transformation that my clients come to me for.

    Brooke Scott on phone, taken by Haley D. Photography

    A Day In The Life Of A COO and Online Business Owner

    Morning Focus & Routine

    Depending on the day, I typically hit the ground running between 4:30AM and 6AM CST. In order to prepare me energetically for the day and get me in the right mindset, I make sure I have time to fully wake up, get ready, drink water, and pour myself a cup of coffee. 

    What I’ve found out is that the first hour or two of my day truly determines how that day goes. If I wake up and immediately jump on my computer and induce a sense of rush and stress, then I’m going to be stuck in that pattern all day and usually end up working into the late night. (I’ve learned this over the years through trial and error.)

    So, the way that I set myself up for a busy day with multiple clients and communication with team members is allowing myself time in the morning to ease into waking up, take my time getting ready, get some fuel and water into my system, and ease into my day. Approaching the day in that relaxed state ramps up my productivity level and I’m usually able to end the day early in the afternoon, depending on what projects we have going on.

    In order to achieve that, sometimes that means waking up earlier than I want to but it’s the ultimate reward of having my work days be centered around productive energy especially when I’m working on projects and tasks that require more intensive focus and troubleshooting. In my case, it’s not usually a problem to wake up early for that extra time since I go to bed around 9PM. (Insert your old grandma jokes here!)

    Day Planning & Prioritization

    The second most important piece in determining my productivity is the first 30 minutes to one hour of my work day. Each day I take time to focus on what is going to be priority for the day by looking at my call schedule first and then determining what time I have left to accomplish tasks. That time outside of calls is what gauges my capacity and what I can truly get done during the day. 

    Typically Mondays are a heavy call day and I only have a few hours in the afternoon for productivity so in knowing that I make sure to prioritize the heavier lifting of work throughout the rest of the week. Otherwise, I make sure that after assessing time capacity, I’m focusing on what is a priority for each client.

    I usually outline 3-5 priority focuses or tasks for each of my clients and make my way down the list based on turnaround priority across the board. This helps me stay balanced and working on each client while accomplishing what is to be completed that day or week. 

    I’ve found that by approaching my workload this way, I’m able to keep that balance longer versus only working on one client for an extended period of time. If I’m chipping away at the higher priority, the ease of flow increases over the week’s time.

    I not only approach each day this way, but I do this once at the beginning of the week as an overview planning session and then I “re-do” it each morning to account for any changes that have happened.

    Brooke Scott working on online business, taken by Haley D. Photography

    Workflow, Client Calls, & Communication

    From there, I’m able to get in the zone, stay heads down and focus on the things that need to get done externally for my clients and internally for my own business. In the mix of “doing-the-things”, I’m usually communicating back and forth with my clients and team over Slack.

    While this can cause interruptions during the day, I consider that time productive because I’m in the moment with my clients and team. The most important thing you could do as an online business owner is prioritize communication while keeping your work hour boundaries of course.

    The more I’m in constant and necessary communication with my clients and team, the more trust, comfort, and cohesiveness are formed. Creating this environment with clients and team members not only benefits your relationship with them but it keeps you in a forward motion and rhythm of focusing on what is important NOW versus what is just on the list for the week.

    While the actual “things” I do during the day are usually never the same, the way I show up is and that is what is my individual priority. Maintaining a flow that keeps me showing up and performing for clients, my team, and myself. 

    Daily Recap & Reprioritization

    After a long work day, I revisit my task and priority list that I made at the beginning of the day and do a quick de-brief session that usually only takes a few minutes. I look for areas I accomplished, areas I made progress in, and areas that I didn’t get to touch. This will help me in the planning phase during the next day because I’ll know what is most priority so that I can keep things moving.

    What Matters & Why You Should Focus On Your Flow

    Being an entrepreneur who manages multiple clients and teams across the world, and different industries and zones of genius, the one thing that keeps me going and thriving in what I do, is my flow state.

    Focusing on my flow and my energy every day is what has allowed me to grow, shift, triple my yearly income, expand my team, develop new skills and so much more. If you allow yourself to prioritize how things feel first, then you’ll know where you need to apply your skills second. 

    Shift your mindset from what your role is or what tasks to do, to how you show up best. If you’re focusing on just getting things done, things won’t feel rewarding or like you’re making an impact. Focus on how you operate best and you’ll start operating even better. While keeping that mindset, it’s important to also let yourself be guided into new areas and lean into the uncomfortable. Of course, there isn’t a “physical” movement to actually feel but once you start opening up your days to what actually matters and where things feel right, you’ll start allowing that to flow back into your world.

  • 9 Tactics for Hooking Up on Tinder

    9 Tactics for Hooking Up on Tinder

    Swipe, Match, Repeat: Tinder’s not just a game of chance; it’s a skill – and you’re about to level up! 

    This isn’t your grandma’s dating scene; it’s a fast-paced, swipe-savvy world where connections are just a screen tap away. 

    Forget the traditional rules of romance; we’re in the era of instant attraction and bold moves. 

    Ready to transform your Tinder game from ‘meh’ to ‘amazing’? 

    Let’s dive into the heart of modern dating, where every swipe is a step toward unexpected excitement.

    What to Look for in a Tinder Hookup

    Navigating the exhilarating world of Tinder can be as unpredictable as it is thrilling.

    While the app opens a gateway to a myriad of potential connections, knowing what to look for in a Tinder hookup can be the difference between a forgettable encounter and an unforgettable experience. 

    How to Hook Up on Tinder

    It’s not just about finding someone; it’s about finding the right someone for that electrifying moment.

    When you’re swiping through profiles, keep an eye out for these key elements:

    • Authenticity: Look for profiles that exude genuineness. Authenticity in pictures and bio can be a good indicator of a sincere person.
    • Shared Interests: Common grounds, be it hobbies, music tastes, or travel dreams, can spark more meaningful connections.
    • Clear Intentions: Profiles that clearly state what they’re looking for can help align expectations and avoid misunderstandings.
    • Engaging Conversation: A person who can hold an interesting conversation through messages is likely to be engaging in person as well.
    • Respect and Courtesy: Respectful language and a courteous approach in their interaction are signs of maturity and decency.
    • Safety Awareness: Indicators that they prioritize safety, like mentioning public meeting places, reflect a responsible attitude.

    Remember, while physical attraction might be the initial draw, the nuances of someone’s profile can give you valuable insight into what kind of experience you might have with them. 

    Trust your instincts and look for signs that suggest you’ll have not just fun but also a safe and respectful encounter. 

    How to Hook Up on Tinder: 9 Tactics for Success

    Embarking on the Tinder journey can be exhilarating but also daunting. To navigate these waters, we’ve compiled nine key tactics for success. These strategies are your compass to finding meaningful connections and exciting adventures on Tinder.

    1. Craft a Standout Profile

    Creating a compelling Tinder profile is your first step toward successful hookups. It’s your chance to make a great first impression. Here’s how to make your profile stand out:

    High-Quality Photos: Choose a variety of photos that include:

    • A clear, high-quality headshot as your main picture.
    • Full-body shots that show you in different settings.
    • Photos of you engaging in hobbies or interests, which act as natural conversation starters.

    Engaging Bio: Your bio should be a reflection of your personality:

    • Avoid clichés and generic statements.
    • Inject humor if it’s your style, but keep it natural.
    • Share something unique about yourself (an unusual hobby, a passion, etc.).
    • Be clear about what you’re looking for to attract like-minded individuals.

    Additional Elements:

    • Consider linking your Spotify and Instagram accounts. Your choice of music and glimpses into your daily life can add depth to your profile.
    • Update your profile regularly to keep it fresh and engaging.

    Remember, your profile isn’t just a showcase of your physical appearance; it’s a narrative of who you are.

    man on phone at dining table How to Hook Up on Tinder

    The right mix of photos and an authentic bio can pique interest and lead to more meaningful connections.

    2. Master the Art of the First Message

    The first message can be a game-changer. It’s your opportunity to make a memorable impression and spark interest. Here’s how to craft a message that stands out:

    • Personalize Your Message: Reference something from their profile. This could be a comment about a shared interest, a question about a unique photo, or a witty remark about something in their bio.
    • Humor Works Wonders: If you have a knack for humor, use it. A light, funny comment can break the ice and make you memorable.
    • Avoid Generic Greetings: Skip the standard “Hi” or “How are you?” It often leads to a dead-end conversation.
    • Keep It Positive and Engaging: Start with a topic that encourages a response and keeps the conversation flowing.

    3. Set Clear Intentions

    Communicating your intentions clearly in your profile and in your conversations ensures that you match with individuals who share your goals, whether it’s a casual hookup, a date, or something more serious. 

    This transparency helps to avoid misunderstandings and aligns you with matches who are on the same page, making the whole experience more straightforward and enjoyable for both parties.

    • State Your Goals in Your Bio: Be clear but considerate about what you’re seeking. If you’re interested in casual encounters, say so, but do it in a way that’s respectful and not off-putting. Similarly, if you’re open to something more serious, let it be known. This honesty helps in filtering potential matches.
    • Communicate Your Expectations Early On: Once you start chatting with a match, it’s beneficial to reiterate or clarify your intentions early in the conversation. This helps ensure that both of you have the same understanding and expectations moving forward.
    • Respect Their Intentions and Boundaries: Just as important as stating your intentions is respecting the intentions of others. If your match is looking for something different, acknowledge and respect that. It’s better to move on than to try and change someone’s mind.
    • Regularly Update Your Profile: As your intentions might change over time, regularly updating your profile to reflect your current goals can keep your experiences on Tinder aligned with your desires. This ongoing clarity is key to a fulfilling and honest Tinder journey.

    4. Use the App at the Right Time

    Timing can play a surprisingly significant role in your success on Tinder. It’s not just about what you do on the app, but also when you do it. The idea is to use Tinder during its peak hours when there are more active users, thereby increasing your chances of getting a match and engaging in a conversation. 

    This strategy relies on understanding user behavior patterns on the app and aligning your usage accordingly for maximum effectiveness.

    • Peak User Activity Hours: Tinder tends to have more active users in the evening, especially around 9 PM. Weekends are particularly busy, as people have more free time and are often planning their social activities.
    • Increase Your Visibility: Swiping and messaging during these peak hours means your profile is more likely to be seen and swiped right on. It also increases the likelihood of instant responses, keeping the conversation flowing.
    • Be Mindful of Special Occasions: Certain days or events, like Valentine’s Day or holiday weekends, can also see increased activity on Tinder. Using the app during these times can offer additional opportunities to match with others looking for plans or company.
    • Consistent Activity: Regularly using the app, even for a short duration during these peak times, can help maintain your visibility and engagement rate. This consistent presence on the app ensures you’re not missing out on potential matches that might be swiping during these active periods.

    5. Keep the Conversation Engaging

    Engaging conversations are the backbone of making a connection on Tinder. It’s not just about breaking the ice; it’s about keeping the flame alive as you get to know each other. Here’s how to maintain an engaging dialogue:

    • Delve Deeper with Open-Ended Questions: Avoid questions that lead to one-word answers. Instead, ask about their experiences, opinions, and interests. This encourages longer responses and shows that you’re interested in their thoughts and feelings.
    • Balance is Key: While it’s important to ask questions, don’t turn it into an interrogation. Share your own stories and experiences. This balance makes the conversation more of a mutual exchange rather than a one-sided interview.
    • Find Common Ground: Discovering shared interests can turn an ordinary conversation into an exciting one. It not only helps in building a connection but also provides ideas for potential activities to do together in the future.

    6. Know When to Take It Off Tinder

    Transitioning your conversation from Tinder to a more personal form of communication is a significant step in deepening your connection. It’s a move that indicates you’re both interested in exploring the potential beyond the confines of the app. However, timing and approach are crucial in this transition:

    • Gauge the Right Moment: The key is to feel out the natural progression of your conversations. If you’ve been consistently engaging in meaningful and enjoyable chats, it might be time to suggest a more direct form of communication, like texting or a phone call.
    • Suggest, Don’t Impose: When proposing to move off Tinder, phrase it as a suggestion rather than a demand. For example, “I’ve really enjoyed our conversations. Would you be comfortable texting or talking over the phone?” This shows respect for their comfort and boundaries.
    • Be Patient and Respectful: If your match is not ready to take the conversation off Tinder, don’t pressure them. Everyone moves at their own pace in online dating, and it’s important to respect their decision and comfort level.
    couple talking over coffee How to Hook Up on Tinder

    7. Plan an Ideal First Meet-Up

    The first meet-up is your opportunity to take the connection from the digital realm into the real world. It’s a pivotal moment that can either elevate your relationship or provide clarity about its future. Planning this meet-up thoughtfully is therefore crucial:

    • Select a Comfortable and Public Venue: Your choice of location can significantly impact the comfort and success of the meet-up. Opt for a public place that is convenient and familiar to both parties, like a popular café, a well-known park, or a casual restaurant. This ensures a safe and relaxed environment.
    • Incorporate Shared Interests into the Plan: Reflect on your previous conversations to find common interests or hobbies that could translate into a fun date activity. If you both enjoy music, a live concert or a jazz cafe might be a great choice. This not only adds an element of excitement to the meet-up but also helps in breaking the ice and fostering a deeper connection.
    • Keep the Atmosphere Light and Pressure-Free: The first meeting should be about getting to know each other in a comfortable setting. Avoid overly formal or high-pressure environments. An activity that allows for easy conversation, like a walk in the park or a visit to an art exhibit, can be ideal.
    • Plan for Flexibility: While it’s good to have a plan, be open to spontaneity. Sometimes, the best moments are unplanned, and being flexible can make the meet-up more enjoyable and less stressful.

    8. Stay Safe and Respect Boundaries

    Safety and respect are fundamental in any form of dating, and Tinder is no exception. It’s crucial to prioritize your safety and the safety of your matches while also respecting each other’s boundaries. This approach not only ensures a more comfortable and positive experience but also helps in building trust and a better connection with your matches.

    • Prioritize Personal Safety: Always meet in public places, especially for the first few times. Share your location with a trusted friend or family member when you go out to meet someone from Tinder.
    • Look for Verification Signs: Utilize features like Tinder’s photo verification to ensure the authenticity of your match. Be cautious if someone refuses to share basic information or seems to avoid certain topics.
    • Be Mindful of Personal Information: Avoid sharing too much personal information too soon. Things like your home address, workplace, and similar details should be shared only when a significant level of trust is established.
    • Respect Their Comfort Level: Everyone has different comfort zones. If your match expresses discomfort or isn’t ready to take a step you’re proposing, whether it’s meeting up or moving the conversation off Tinder, respect their feelings and give them the space they need.

    9. Be Open to Unexpected Outcomes

    Tinder, like life, is unpredictable. While you may go in with certain expectations or intentions, it’s important to remain open to the unexpected. Sometimes, a connection you thought was casual could lead to something more, or vice versa. Embracing this unpredictability can lead to more genuine and rewarding experiences.

    • Embrace the Journey: Enjoy the process of meeting new people and learning from each interaction. Each match can teach you something new about your preferences, desires, and even about yourself.
    • Be Flexible with Your Expectations: If you feel a genuine connection with someone that goes beyond your initial intention, be open to exploring where it leads. Similarly, if things don’t seem to click the way you hoped, it’s okay to step back and reassess.
    • Learn from Each Experience: Whether a match leads to a lasting relationship, a good friendship, or just a learning experience, there’s always something valuable to gain. Use these experiences to refine your approach on Tinder and in dating in general.
    • Stay Positive and Respectful: Regardless of the outcome, maintaining a positive attitude and treating your matches with respect goes a long way. It makes the experience better for both parties and leaves doors open for future possibilities.

    How Do You Ask a Girl for a Hookup on Tinder?

    Asking for a hookup on Tinder requires tact, honesty, and a deep respect for the other person’s boundaries. It’s about conveying your intentions in a way that’s straightforward yet considerate. Here’s how to approach this conversation with sensitivity and assurance:

    Be Sure of Her Interests

    Before initiating a conversation about a hookup, it’s crucial to understand her perspective and interests. A careful examination of her profile might provide hints about what she’s looking for. 

    Also the tone of your conversation can also be a strong indicator. If she engages in flirty or suggestive banter, she may be open to the idea of a hookup. Conversely, more reserved or formal responses might suggest she’s not looking for such an arrangement.

    Build a Connection First

    It’s important not to rush into the topic of hookups. Establishing a connection through genuine conversation is key. Engaging in discussions about shared interests and sharing personal anecdotes helps in building trust and comfort. Light and playful humor, along with subtle flirting, can also be effective in gauging her interest in a more casual relationship.

    Be Direct but Respectful

    After establishing a rapport, you can approach the subject more directly, yet it’s vital to maintain respectfulness. Clearly articulating your desire for a casual interaction while avoiding crude or explicit language shows honesty and respect for her feelings. It’s equally important to accept her response, whether positive or negative, with grace and understanding.

    Propose a Casual Meet-Up

    A less direct approach to exploring the possibility of a hookup is to suggest a casual meet-up. Inviting her to a relaxed and public setting for a low-key date can provide an opportunity to assess physical chemistry. Ensuring that the casual nature of the meet-up is understood can prevent any potential misunderstandings.

    In all these approaches, the most important aspect is respecting the other person’s comfort, autonomy, and decision. Effective communication, mutual interest, and consent are fundamental in this scenario.

    Final Thoughts

    Successfully navigating Tinder for hookups involves a mix of clear communication, respect for boundaries, and genuine engagement. By understanding and implementing these strategies, you’re more likely to create meaningful connections, ensuring both you and your matches have a positive and fulfilling experience in the dynamic world of Tinder dating.

  • How to Boost Your Confidence Through Self-Compassion – My Self-Love Supply

    How to Boost Your Confidence Through Self-Compassion – My Self-Love Supply

     

    Have you ever wondered why some people seem to be just so confident?

    You may have asked yourself – “how do they believe in themselves so completely when I am always doubting myself and wondering if I am good enough?” …

    You may have even convinced yourself that they are just more skilled, more talented, more intelligent, more attractive or more experienced than you are and that this is why they can be so confident…

    HOWEVER, often the reason that someone else is more confident than you, isn’t to do with what they know, how smart they are or what they look like. As humans, we all have strengths and we all have weaknesses.  Each and every one of us has things that we do well and are good at and things that we aren’t so great at (or that we need to work on).  When someone isn’t very confident, they tend to spend a lot of their time focusing on those things that they aren’t so great at and beating themselves up for not being better at those things. 

    However, when someone is confident, they tend to celebrate their strengths and positive qualities and then see their weaknesses as areas for development or things that they can work on. Confident people don’t tend to beat themselves up over what they can’t do or because they aren’t good enough, instead they tend to talk to themselves kindly and compassionately, encouraging themselves to succeed in a motivational way rather than a harsh and critical way. 

    Now let me be clear that when I am talking about confidence, I am not talking about being boastful and feeling the need to tell everyone how amazing you are.  I am talking about that quiet internal confidence that means that you aren’t constantly doubting yourself and your abilities. A lot of people can feel as though they aren’t “good enough” or they aren’t “doing enough” and it isn’t their fault that they feel this way. 

    Most people naturally tend to talk to themselves harshly and critically.  Also, how you feel about yourself can often be something that develops from your younger years.  Maybe you had teachers or family members that made you feel as though you weren’t good enough growing up or you have had some other negative experiences that have led you to doubt our worth.  So, it isn’t your fault if you tend to doubt yourself and feel as though you aren’t “good enough”. In fact, many people feel this way.  However, there are things you can do to shift this and to feel better about yourself.

    This is where self-compassion is such a powerful tool for boosting your confidence and self-esteem. Many people tend to be kind and compassionate to those around them but then very harsh and critical of themselves.  When they start to show themselves the same kindness and compassion that they show others, they tend to feel much better about themselves and their confidence improves significantly.

    A first step in nurturing that self-compassion is to start to notice your thoughts and how you are talking to yourself (in your own head) throughout the day.  Are you thinking thoughts and using words to talk to yourself that you would feel comfortable saying out aloud to someone that you really love and care about? Would you tell your child or your sister that “you are such a failure, you are not good enough”? Or would you perhaps coach them by saying something like “you didn’t succeed this time but you can do this, I believe in you, let’s try again and do better next time”.  Aiming to talk to yourself how you would talk to a loved one can be very helpful. Catching and then gently shifting any negative self-talk can really help to boost your confidence and how you feel about yourself.

    There are several other things that can negatively affect your confidence and in these areas self-compassion can help too.  These include:

    Basing your self-esteem on the opinions of others

    So many people rely on other people for validation and confidence.  For example, they will only feel attractive on days when other people have complimented them on their appearance or they will only feel that they have put together a good piece of work when someone else praises that piece of work.  They are relying mostly on the judgment and opinions of others in order to feel good about themselves and their lives.  Basing your self-worth on the opinions of others however makes that self-worth very fragile.  It means that you could feel bad about yourself one day just because everyone around you is in a bad mood and doesn’t feel like complimenting or praising you that day.  It means that you are leaving how you feel about yourself entirely in the hands of other people. Much more helpful than depending on others for validation is to give yourself that validation through treating yourself with compassion. 

    If you are being kind to yourself and celebrating, valuing and appreciating the work you have put in to a project, you won’t need to depend upon other people to tell you that you have done a good job.  If you can appreciate and celebrate your appearance and what you look like, then you won’t have to wait for other people to compliment you to feel good about yourself.

    Spending a lot of time comparing yourself to others

    Often people feel bad about themselves because they spend a lot of time comparing themselves to other people.  Of course, this is never really a fair comparison because they compare the “best” version of someone else (the version that this other person wants to show the world) with the “worst” version of themselves (because only they will know about all of their flaws and insecurities). When making these comparisons people also tend to only make upwards social comparisons – so they will only compare themselves against people that they feel are “better” than them but not against people that aren’t doing as well as them.  This also makes them feel much worse about themselves.  A lot of the narrative that comes up when someone is comparing themselves to others is a very harsh and critical narrative.  They are beating themselves up and being mean to themselves for not being as “good” as someone else. 

    However, nurturing a kinder and more compassionate internal voice can shift that narrative. When someone is being kind to themselves perhaps others become more of a source of inspiration and positive encouragement rather than a reason to beat themselves up and feel bad. Or even better, when someone is being kind to themselves, what others are doing becomes far less relevant or important, because they are just focused on doing the best that they can.   

    Feeling the need to change to fit in

    We are social creatures and we like to know that we fit into our tribe. However, always feeling the need to change ourselves and be something or someone that we are not in order to fit in, can have a very negative effect on our confidence levels and mental health. If we always feel that we can’t be accepted and loved for being our authentic selves we will never believe that we are “good enough” as we are.  Having the confidence to just be you often comes with talking to yourself kindly and compassionately.  Instead of beating yourself up for not being more like someone else, instead you are celebrating and enjoying what it is that makes you unique and different.

    So, self-compassion really lies at the heart of true confidence.  That unwavering belief in yourself and that quiet understanding that you are more than “good enough” comes from being able to celebrate and appreciate your strengths and positive qualities, rather than constantly beating yourself up for your flaws.  How are you going to celebrate what makes you uniquely you today?

    “Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”

    ― Lao Tzu

    Uxshely Carcamo is a psychotherapist, registered nutritionist, hypnotherapist and lawyer. She founded The Food Therapy Clinic and helps her clients to re-build their relationship with food, boost their confidence, believe in themselves and feel great about their lives and their bodies.  You can find her on Instagram and Facebook for some more posts to help you to believe in yourself.

     

     

  • Holiday Circle of Control – Self-Love Rainbow

    Holiday Circle of Control – Self-Love Rainbow

    We’re back to talk about the Circle of Control! The concept was originally created by Stephen Covey He created the Circle of Concern (things we care about but can’t control) and the Circle of Influence (things we care about and can impact). That has been further simplified into things we can control (and/or influence) and things we can not. I’d like to talk about the

    I shared my Circle of Control: Family and now we’re going to talk about the Holiday Circle of Control

    The holidays can be really stressful and that’s why it’s important to be able to discern where we are able to focus our energy and make a difference and when it’s something that’s out of our hands. As someone who is often a bundle of anxious social energy, I always worry about everything. Will people like their gifts? Will everyone feel included? Am I saying the right thing? Should I do this, or should I do that?

    Things in your control during the holidays.

    Your Boundaries: You get to decide what your boundaries are. You can’t control if others respect those boundaries, but you can make boundaries and enforce them. (Even though it’s uncomfortable. See “Setting Boundaries During the Holidays“)

    Your Self-Care Routine: The holidays can feel like an endless list of to-dos. What gifts to buy, what recipes to make, decorations to put up, festivities to attend – make time for self-care in between those things. You’re important too. Treat yourself like your joy matters.

    Your Budget and Spending:

    This also goes back to boundaries. You can set boundaries with your spending even if it disappoints other people.

    Holiday Events You Attend: You can say ‘no’. You don’t have to go to everything you’re invited to if it doesn’t hold joy for you. Your energy and your time are such precious resources, give it to those who honor that.

    Traditions and Celebrations: If your traditions are tied to unpleasant memories or feel forced – make new ones. Our family loves books (or comics), pajamas, and hot chocolate on Christmas Eve.

    Things out of your control during the holidays.

    Family Dynamics and Drama: While you can choose to set boundaries and remove yourself from those situations you can’t control how others react to each other. (A reminder for those who get stuck in the role of family mediator.)

    How Others React to Their Gifts: (This is my anxiety weak point) Even when we put time, effort, and thought into choosing gifts sometimes we’ll be met with disappointment, dissatisfaction, or even indifference, and even though it can be hurtful it’s ultimately outside your control.

    Travel Cancellations, Delays, Unexpected Weather: Despite meticulous planning, flights might be delayed, or plans might need last-minute adjustments. Take a deep breath and do your best to roll with it. (And if you’re like me – focus on the backup plans.)

    Shipping and Delivery Times: Try as we might, we can’t always account for delivery delays, lost packages, and out-of-stock options.

    Differing Opinions & How Others Spend Their Holidays: No one is going to have the same holiday experience. And while sometimes it would be nice if everyone’s plans and traditions meshed, that’s not always the case.

    Remember the holidays are not about making someone else happy.

    (Unless it’s your kids but add you-happiness in there too!), it’s not about achieving perfection or fulfilling every expectation. It’s about focusing on what truly matters (and that might be different from what you grew up valuing or were told to value), prioritizing your joy, and create a meaningful holiday experience for yourself and those you love.

    What part of the Holiday Circle of Control resonates the most with you?